Vows Guide

Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

The mandatory legal words you'll say, plus how to add personal vows to make your ceremony uniquely yours.

In Australia, every marriage ceremony must include specific legal words required by the Marriage Act 1961. These are short, simple, and your celebrant will prompt you line by line — no memorising needed. Beyond the legal requirement, you're free to add your own personal vows to express what your partner means to you.

The Mandatory Legal Vows

Under Section 45(2) of the Marriage Act 1961, both you and your partner must say these words (or words to this effect) during the ceremony. There is no way around this — without these words, you are not legally married.

What You'll Say

“I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, [your full name], take you, [partner's full name], to be my lawful wedded [husband/wife/spouse].”

Both partners say this, swapping the names. Your celebrant will prompt you word by word — you simply repeat after them.

Good to Know

You can use “husband”, “wife”, or “spouse” — whatever feels right for you. The law doesn't require a specific term, just one of these three options.

The Monitum — What the Celebrant Says

Before your vows, the celebrant must read the “monitum” — a legal statement about the nature of marriage. You don't need to say or do anything during this part, just listen.

“I am duly authorised by law to solemnise marriages according to law. Before you are joined in marriage in my presence and in the presence of these witnesses, I am to remind you of the solemn and binding nature of the relationship into which you are about to enter. Marriage, according to law in Australia, is the union of 2 people to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life.”

This is required by law at every Australian marriage ceremony, whether it's in a church, on a beach, or in a backyard.

Adding Personal Vows (Optional)

Personal vows are completely optional. Many couples are happy with the legal vows alone — they're meaningful in their own right. But if you want to say something personal, your celebrant will make space for it in the ceremony.

When Do Personal Vows Happen?

Personal vows are typically said after the legal vows. Your celebrant will complete the legal requirements first, then invite you to share your personal words. This means even if you get emotional and need a moment, the legal part is already done!

How Personal Vows Work With Us

You write your own vows beforehand and bring them on the day
You can read them from your phone, a card, or a piece of paper
There's no minimum or maximum length (but 1-2 minutes each is a sweet spot)
Let us know in advance so your celebrant can plan the ceremony flow
Your celebrant won't review or help write them — they're yours

Tips for Writing Personal Vows

Writing personal vows can feel daunting, but they don't need to be literary masterpieces. The best vows are honest and from the heart.

1. Start With What You Know

Think about why you fell in love, what you admire most about your partner, and what you're looking forward to in your future together. Jot down notes before trying to write complete sentences.

2. Keep It Short

Aim for 30 seconds to 2 minutes each. Short and sincere beats long and rambling. You'll be emotional on the day, and shorter vows are easier to get through.

3. Make Promises

The best vows include specific promises. Instead of “I promise to love you forever”, try something personal like “I promise to always make you coffee the way you like it” or “I promise to never go to bed angry.”

4. It's OK to Be Funny

Humour is welcome! A lighthearted moment can ease nerves and make the ceremony feel natural. Just balance it with something sincere.

5. Agree on a Style

Have a quick chat with your partner about tone and length — you don't want one person reading a poem for five minutes while the other says two sentences. You don't need to share the actual words, just align on the vibe.

6. Have a Backup Copy

Bring a printed or handwritten copy as well as having them on your phone. Screens can be hard to read in sunlight, and nerves can make phones tricky. A small card or piece of paper won't let you down.

A Simple Vow Structure

Not sure where to start? Here's a simple framework you can follow:

1
What I love about you
“From the moment I met you, I knew you were someone special. I love your kindness, your laugh, and the way you always know how to make me smile.”
2
What you mean to me
“You are my best friend, my biggest supporter, and the person I want to share every adventure with.”
3
My promises to you
“I promise to be honest, to be patient, and to always choose us — even on the hard days.”
4
Looking forward
“I can't wait to build our life together, to grow old with you, and to keep falling in love with you every day.”

Don't Want to Write Your Own?

That's perfectly fine! The legal vows are meaningful on their own, and plenty of couples choose not to add personal vows. Your ceremony is still beautiful, legal, and yours.

With our service, the celebrant handles everything. They'll read the monitum, prompt you through the legal vows line by line, and guide the ring exchange if you're doing one. All you need to do is repeat after them and enjoy the moment.

Ring Exchange Words (Optional)

If you're exchanging rings, the celebrant will guide you through some simple words. There's no legal requirement for ring exchange wording, so you can use the traditional version or write your own.

Traditional Ring Exchange Words

“I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment to you.”

Or you can simply say something like “With this ring, I marry you” — there are no rules here. Your celebrant will prompt you on the day.

Common Questions About Vows

Do we need to memorise the legal vows?

No. Your celebrant will say each line and you repeat after them. Nobody expects you to memorise anything.

Can we change the wording of the legal vows?

The legal vows must contain the key elements — calling on those present to witness, using your full legal names, and declaring the other person your lawful wedded husband, wife, or spouse. Minor variations are allowed as long as the meaning is preserved, but your celebrant will guide you on what's acceptable.

Can we say our personal vows privately instead?

Absolutely. Some couples choose to share personal vows privately before or after the ceremony, and just do the legal vows during the ceremony itself. Whatever feels right for you.

What if I get too emotional to speak?

Totally normal! Take your time, take a breath, and your celebrant will wait. For the legal vows, the celebrant prompts you a few words at a time, so you only need to manage short phrases. If you're worried about personal vows, have your partner or a witness read them on your behalf as a backup plan.

Do both partners have to write personal vows?

Nope. One of you can share personal vows while the other doesn't — there are no rules. That said, most couples prefer to either both do them or both skip them so it feels balanced.

Should we share our vows with each other before the day?

That's entirely up to you. Some couples love the surprise; others feel more comfortable knowing what the other will say. A middle ground: agree on length and tone without sharing the actual words.

Ready to Say “I Do”?

Personal vows or not — we'll make sure your ceremony is simple, legal, and stress-free.